NaBloPoMo - so-so successful

Not to be confused with SO SO Successful!!! It was more of a luke warm, or so-so, run at it.

The original plan was to write daily for the month-long blog challenge.   I tried to write daily, and for the most part, I did that. Here, I wrote 24 days/posts. At the Lifelong Learning blog, I wrote 3 more original pieces (some I copied over here.) And I did the Unschooling Blog Carnival  this month - that took a little time.  Plus I wrote something for my friend, Linda Dobson at the Parent at the Helm newsletter. She has been publishing some of my blogposts over at her newsletter and I'm going to continue to help her out over there a little. I've been toying with the idea of combining all of it into one Wordpress blog - which seems logical. We'll see. Linda's blog/website is Wordpress, so I'll be learning it.

I'm not going to do the National Blog Posting Month Challenge again UNTIL my book is done. I'm on a roll now, and I'm ready to complete this! I will keep you posted.

Videos, Boxes, and even a Wedding!

Update Time....

Michael has the most news really. He just completed a camp in Nicaragua for 45 students from all over the country who were excelling in their English studies. His role there is to really help the teachers become more engaged with the students. Lots of that is done through modeling, but it has to stay in balance. He's run into a few who simply disappear or fade out to do other stuff - just letting him do his thing. But that's not really the point.  Anyway, he's done a couple of videos and I think he actually has a You Tube channel devoted to his Vlogs. I know he posts a lot of them there, and then links to them from Facebook.  Michael was really pleased with the success of the camps, so that's great!

He also shared a documentary trailer that he thinks is very good, called Dreaming Nicaragua. If you get the opportunity to see it any local film festivals, please do! He felt like it was accurately telling the story of life in Nicaragua. Here's the trailer:

Katie is sorting through boxes of her clothing - shifting from NYC clothes to LA clothes. We've been checking out the Southern California temperatures and wow! I'm so jealous! 103° here and a balmy 80° there. ahhhh. She's still working at Cinemark and we're all taking advantage of her free movie passes. Thanks, Katie!

Alyssa is still working 3 days per week which leaves her a good amount of time to hang out with Josh. His schedule is to work 24 hours, then be off for 2 days.  Alyssa and Josh have bought more fishing gear and are getting ready to go on a 2-day fishing trip at Lake Texoma, where Ron has promised that HUGE fish are just waiting for them! It will be nice for them to get a break, not have to spend any money - and FISH! (Who knew that Alyssa would love fishing so much, but she does!)

Grandma is still unpacking boxes at her house. Her progress is VERY slow. She's had a few adventures since she's been there. I might get the video camera out so we can record her telling some of these stories. Pretty funny stuff! She's still arguing with me about wanting to drive, and I feel terrible that she can't manage it. I feel even WORSE that she thinks I'm not right in my decision. :::sigh::::

Ron put the ladder on the sailboat so now I can get on and off the boat into the water. I'm thinking I need a fabulous raft or something! He also attached a grill to the back of the boat. I think he's anticipating a lot of success for Josh and Alyssa's fishing trip in mid-August!

I have been back to blogging more. And I really hope I'm not doing it as yet another way to procrastinate! I need to finish up the The Book. Light a couple candles, say a few prayers, that I can get back on track with that. I really want to finish that soon!
My workout/weight loss has been progressing along. I've lost 32 lbs. since I started walking in March.  My diets have changed over time, and currently I'm finding the most success with eliminating starches and sugars. I'm getting to the gym 4-5 days each week, but the weight loss seems more directly related to my food consumption. Surprise, surprise!






Other general family news is that Ron's brother Scott's son, Kelly Todd Copeland got married! It was a small wedding in Greenville Texas.
Hopefully, we'll be heading that way for the reception this weekend!
Don't you love their matching blue shoes?

Asking the Big Questions

I've used this blog to share about my family for years.  This past year, I began to expand it to more about my thoughts and ideas. I've talked about learning to adapt to transitioning motherhood, coping with an aging parent, my exercise & eating issues, and most recently, death.

I don't really do well with establishing any kind of routine with my blog. Every time I try to do something like Wordless Wednesdays or Friday Family Updates, I never seem to keep it up. Lack of discipline? Probably. I would rationalize it by saying I just didn't have much to say, and why bother people with it. But... who knows what the truth is?

So, I'm going to try it again. We'll call these Walk With Me Wednesdays. It will be my one day to share what I've been learning, reading, doing, from a spiritual perspective. I know, this is really personal stuff. But maybe others are looking at The Big Questions too.  Maybe it's because the kids are leaving and I have more time on my hands. Maybe it's being Over 50 and knowing my time is limited. :::shrug::::

This week....
Toci offered a Spoonbending class and Katie & I went. HeatherAsh talked a lot about energy and feeling other people's energy. In the past, I've always been skeptical. But we've all walked into a room where you can FEEL the energy. How is that possible? We don't learn about it or even talk much about it. But it's there. And having a degree in science, I understand that energy exists in ways we don't even know yet. So... I'm listening more about the part of us that is Energy.  This workshop was about our own personal energy awareness.

Sunday was International Forgiveness Day... just sayin'.
Although when I looked it up to give a link here, lots of organizations and religions hold their Day of Forgiveness (and even WEEK of forgiveness) in August & September. So, don't worry. You didn't miss it! There's still time to forgive people! One of these people I listened to this week, maybe Marianne, suggested that you pray for your enemies or those who have hurt you for 5 minutes, every day, for 30 days. She said that when you do that, either their heart will change and things will resolve, or you won't care anymore. And isn't it our own anger and upset-ness that is really hurting us?
So, I've made a list... hope you're not on it! But if you are, things will get better.



Deepak Chopra offered a 21 Day Meditation Challenge that ended this week. The Chopra Center will keep the meditations up for 7 days after they were originally posted. That means I have time to get to the ones I missed! I have to admit that I didn't do too well with the regular meditation concept. They're only 15 minutes, so I don't know what the problem was. Maybe you'll do better. I shared it with several friends through Facebook and I think they had more success than me. Yay!

Oprah's Super Soul Sunday - I record this every week, but I don't always get to it! So this week, I watched 2 episodes. The first one I watched was with Marianne Williamson. I've been watching her and reading her books for years. Its funny how you don't realize who have been major influencers over your life. Marianne has been that for me. They talked about the Morning Prayer from Illuminata. And I agree that "Please enter where You already abide" and "Make me the person You would have me be" are my favorites.

Morning Prayer
Dear God,
I give this day to You.
May my mind stay centered on the things of spirit.
May I not be tempted to stray from love.
As I begin this day, I open to receive You.
Please enter where You already abide.
May my mind and heart be pure and true, and may I not deviate from the things of goodness.
May I see the love and innocence in all mankind, behind the masks we all wear and the illusions of this worldly plane.
I surrender to You my doings this day.
I ask only that they serve You and the healing of the world.
May I bring Your love and goodness with me, to give unto others wherever I go.
Make me the person You would have me be.
Direct my footsteps, and show me what You would have me do.
Make the world a safer, more beautiful place.
Bless all Your creatures.
Heal us all, and use me, dear Lord, that I might know the joy of being used by You.
Amen.
- from Illuminata

And then I watched the episode with Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul.  I liked so much of what he had to say. I liked the concept of when you are faced with something difficult or someone difficult, lean away from what I think of as "the story" of it. Lean back and let the drama and the emotion and the story pass on through you. It's the "leaning toward" part that gives us the grief - and it's of our own choosing! It's in the video, so watch!
And I liked his explanation of the Angel of Death. Probably because I was watching this episode at about the same time I was writing about my brother Eddie's life/death. He talks about the Angel of Death being the greatest teacher. It certainly has been for me.

Here is some of what he has to say, and the link to a larger book excerpt.

It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life turns out to be death. No person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you. While someone could tell you that you are not your body, death shows you. While someone could remind you of the insignificance of the things that you cling to, death takes them all away in a second. While people can teach you that men and women of all races are equal and that there is no difference between the rich and the poor, death instantly makes us all the same. 
The question is, are you going to wait until that last moment to let death be your teacher? 

If you get the chance, I hope you'll click the links and watch the videos.

That's it for this week's spiritual searching.  I'll let you know what I find in the week ahead and hopefully you'll Walk with Me on Wednesdays!

Happy Birthday & R.I.P.: Edward Wolfe Faltynowski

Eddie's 3rd Birthday - First Birthday with us!

Today would have been my brother, Eddie's, 49th birthday.  It's really hard to visualize how he would have aged or what he would have looked like, because he didn't live to see his 25th Birthday. He died from a drug overdose in 1987. I don't really talk about it much because for a period of time, our family looked like a made-for-TV drama: teenage drug use, broken promises, angry parents, emergency room trips, storming out, and ultimately, indescribable grief. But lately we've been going through a lot of old family photos; and it's time to tell the story of my little brother.

Eddie was born to a Russian immigrant in Kansas City, Missouri. He was the youngest of 9 children. His mother spoke no English and in retrospect, probably was suffering from mental illness. His Polish father was abusive and quite old, by the time Eddie came along. The older siblings tried to care for the younger, but social services intervened. The youngest three boys, Richard, Joey, and Tony, were sent to Marillac, an orphanage/school run by the Catholic Sisters of Charity at the time. Marillac is mentioned in an article I found about orphanages in Kansas City: Orphanages Cared for Homeless Children in the Catholic Key.  Eddie was only 2 at the time, and was immediately placed in a foster home - ours.   He came with nothing, only a brown stuffed bear that he named Smokey. It was the summer of 1965 and I was only 4.

I remember planning for his first birthday with us. I had a Winnie the Pooh that he was immediately drawn too, so I remember my mom asking me if I wanted to get him one too. I loved the idea. We created a small birthday party with a few neighborhood kids. Eddie looked baffled at all of it. But he did love having his own Winnie the Pooh. Not knowing what the future would hold for him, we all needed to learn how to spell his name. I remember spelling it in a sing-song way - it was a lot of letters!

Easter 1968 - Eddie, Mom, Me
Kansas City, Mo.

My parents tried to keep communication lines open with his siblings. Tony was placed in a foster home and eventually adopted by them.  Joey and Richard ultimately were sent to Boys Town in Nebraska.  But before they left we would pick them up from Merillac for visits and even had them stay with us over Christmas.  Since Tony and Eddie were closest in age, we visited with Tony and his new family periodically as well. The moms would discuss how to manage allowing the two little boys to visit their birth family, even though the situations were not good.

Eddie had a lot of problems when he came to us - how could he have been any different? Even as a little guy, he struggled with his anger; but we loved him and my parents tried to provide a good home for him.  All seemed fine until he started school. He never really adapted to that kind of environment, but my parents were encouraged to keep sending him. He was incredibly smart, but had a lot of difficulty with getting along with the teachers and with the other students.

We moved from Kansas City to Dallas in 1970, and it seemed that Catholic Charities wasn't interested in placing Eddie back with his family. It was as if they dropped the ball. No one contacted us. Ever. So when we started at a new school, Eddie decided he wanted to change his name from Faltynowski to Wolfe. It all sounded great to me. Still my mom felt it was important to keep ties with his birth family. The older siblings were now married with kids of their own. They wanted Eddie to come visit for a couple weeks in the summer. They seemed ok, Eddie wanted to (if Tony was going to go too), so that's what happened for awhile.  He was always happy to come back home to us, but he felt a connection to them that he didn't know what to do with. But as for the name, Mr. Faltynowski would not relinquish all of his rights. I was never sure what that actually meant, but I remember Eddie's sister saying that her dad had hopes that Eddie would return to the family some day, work, help bring money in, etc. But for some reason, maybe because we lived in another state, or maybe just because Eddie wanted it, we dropped the Faltynowski from his name and registered him at school as Eddie Wolfe. They put Faltynowski in as a middle name, since he didn't have one.

Family fishing trip - Lake of the Ozarks every summer
(Dad, me, Eddie)

Eddie played soccer, joined the middle school marching band, and even became the kicker for the football team at Hill Junior High. He was a typical boy, getting into mischief, watching TV, hanging out with friends. Our family took vacations to the beach and we had lots of fun on annual fishing trips to the Lake of the Ozarks.

When his brother Tony became a teen though, Tony decided he wanted to leave his adoptive family and return to the Faltynowski family.  I remember my mom being very concerned. I'm not sure about the timeline, but within a few years, Tony tragically died. He was siphoning gas from a car to put into a lawn mower. He got it in his eyes and fell off the overhang where their house was.  Eddie was devastated. We all were. It seemed at that point, that the Faltynowski family pushed harder to spend time with Eddie.

While I know my mom thought she was doing the right thing by keeping contact with the Faltynowskis and letting Eddie go there and develop relationships, it ended up backfiring.  In the middle of a typical teenage argument, Eddie said he wanted to leave and go live with one of his sisters. She was moving to Wyoming and he would move in with her family.  In a moment of frustration, my parents agreed. Next thing I knew, he was off on a plane to Laramie, Wyoming.  For a while we didn't hear much from him. Then he started to call more. They immediately made him get a job pumping gas and he had to work every day after school. The niceness had changed and he felt stuck. He ended up going back and forth to Kansas City to stay with his older sister for visits, but returned to Wyoming where he had high school friends.

 Eddie and Me in the house in Dallas
He was about 22

After he finished high school, he came back to Dallas to live at our house for a little while. I was away at college. He had had a hard time with drugs, but was trying to do better. We had fun hanging out together as older siblings. He was funny, confident, and really protective of me. It was as if all those years of me being his big sister looking out for him were reversed. He was threatening to beat up boys who hadn't treated me that well. I'm sure it was just the typical early 20's bravado, but I enjoyed getting to experience this side of his personality. He worked for a little bit longer and even got an apartment in Dallas. But it wasn't long before he went back to Kansas City.

In Kansas City, Eddie worked as a welder. He seemed to be back on track. He had a girlfriend who had a couple of children whom he loved. They lived over the garage where he worked.  We talked, but not often. He had grown into a loving caring man in spite of everything he had been through. I was still trying to encourage him to return to Dallas.

But evidently, he still struggled with addiction.  In July of 1987, he was gone.

I still miss him and have so many birthday wishes for him.  I wish my family could have known him and grown up with Uncle Eddie. I wish he hadn't had such a rough life. I wish so many things had been different. Most of all, I just wish he was still here... we'd be singing Happy Birthday to him today.

One Little Word

I originally wrote this post to help parents who choose to unschool their kids.  But as I thought more about it, it's much more universal than that.  Parents are often looking for advice or guidance on how to do this right. Yet, we all know there are no courses or handbooks that can tell us exactly what to do. Some of that is a good thing - because what works for one family, may just not work for another.   But if you stick with principles, instead of look for a handy-dandy list of rules, you will have much more success. If you think about what kind of parent you WANT to be, then you'll have a much better shot at feeling good with the decisions that will face your family.  

So what makes unschooling work is a lot like what makes good parenting work. And it seems to boil down to one little word.

What is the word?

Camping

Ron with Katie, Alyssa & Michael in the tent

WITH.

A simple preposition that makes all the difference. Think of how important that word is, when you visualize these scenarios.

Playing WITH your children.

....board games

....card games

.....video games

....make believe

....in the treehouse

....on the tire swing

Playing in the sand at South Padre (Sue & Katie)

....in the fort in the living room

.... in the pail of bubbles

Working WITH your children.

....on how to assemble a kite
....or ride a horse or a bike or a jet ski

....about how to change a flat tire

....on how to use mod podge, or make stepping stones

....on how to build a power point, or connect the modem

Talking WITH your children.

....about getting a new pet

....about which movie to go see

....about advertising you both see/hear on TV or billboards or radio

....about what kind of job he might like

On the road to Alaska...

stopping off to explore Yellowstone

....about why grandma has to repeat things so often

Interacting WITH your children.

....about how they feel when kids are mean

....about how to stand up for what's right

....about how to really listen and fight the urge to interrupt

....about what can be done about the homeless man on the corner

....about what you can do when you feel bored

....about what's considered rude or inconsiderate or kind or helpful

....about grocery shopping, or laundering, or cooking

 I'm sure you can come up with a bazillion more examples of things you do WITH your child. I just want you to realize that no matter what it is - the WITH aspect is the most important part!

Remember 20 years ago, the debate was "Quality" time vs. "Quantity" time? It had a lot to do with women choosing careers - but it's really not that black and white. You can have "quality time," and just not enough of it. And you can have "quantity time," but not be engaged or really present with your children. It's never simple, is it? You have to walk into it all consciously - checking and rechecking to be sure you're parenting in the way that you want.

Modeling behavior, having heartfelt discussions, getting the opportunity to share life experiences can only happen when you're WITH them. It seems obvious, but sometimes when you're tired or the kitchen is a mess, parents can get impatient and prefer the kids to go do something in the other room. That's when I want you to remember the little word: WITH.  Time will fly, and your relationship with your child as an adult as well as so many aspects of their own personality, will be directly related to how much WITH Time you gave them.

All of us together before

Michael left for the Peace Corps, Katie left for NYC, and Alyssa got engaged

So if you have to, paste a little piece of scrap paper like the one above with the word "With" on your bathroom mirror...or your put it up on your fridge with a magnet... paint it, cross-stitch it, print it - whatever you have to do to keep it in the front of your mind!

*Yes, this was also at my Unschooling Blog, but I needed it for my daily August 6th NaBloPoMo post! ha! So you might be seeing this twice. 

Guatemalan Worry Dolls

My mom, who loved traveling to Central America after she retired, recently gave my daughter a little bag from Guatamala. Little, like 2-3 inches tall. In it are 6 tiny sticks, shaped into people, with traditional colorful fabric wrapped around each doll. The message inside says to tell the dolls your worries. One worry for each of little doll.  Then put them back in the pouch,  place it under your pillow, and know that they have them. You don't need to hold onto your worries any more. In the morning, the dolls will have taken them all away!

My daughter was a little skeptical. But when she's alone in the apartment (her fiancé works 24 hour shifts), and she feels a little afraid or worried, she might have a change of heart. Those little dolls may be just what she needs!

Isn't that a sweet custom?

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.  ~Swedish Proverb

NaBloPoMo... Again!

So I'm skimming emails and I see my friend Carol is doing the National Blog Posting Month challenge, through BlogHer.com again. I followed her into the NaBloPoMo last November and it was great fun writing more. The only goal is that you blog daily. That's it. Carol joined a few more blog challenges in the Spring, but I sat those out. When I saw she was going to join the August NaBloPoMo, I realized that I had already been doing a blogpost for every day of August!

Yeah, yeah, I know... there were only three posts... but I felt like I was on a (very small) roll.  I had shared my Chick-Fil-A mess post at Blogher.com and got a couple of very inspiring responses from readers over there.

So what the heck... I signed up to do it again.

But just to lay it all out there, here are my obstacles:

1.) I need to keep on my workout plan and not use "I have to go blog" as an excuse to skip the gym - which I am doing right now! 

2.) My mom still does not have her car (yes, I should write about how we gave it back to her briefly, then took it back, and now we're embroiled in an argument again about it all. Maybe that will be a later blogpost - perhaps while I'm waiting for her at Mass, since I'll be driving her friend and her tomorrow morning!) 

3.) This should not be #3, but I really really need to be working on my BOOK! I have all the data collected and just need to throw it all together. What's the hold up? idk 

4.) Katie moves away to L.A. next month and I want to spend a lot of time with her. We have a big list of all the Movie classics we want to watch together, but here we both sit, side-by-side on our laptops! 

5.) I promised Katie and Alyssa I'd make a Family Cookbook for them.  Yes, the GoogleDocs has been started, but that's it.

6.) I'm supposed to start writing the Teen section in the upcoming HSC magazine that will be coming out soon. I have 3-4 articles started, but could have them on Stand-by IF I were an organized person! 

7.) I was going to do the 15 minute per day Deepak Chopra 21-day Meditation Challenge and FAILED. The meditations were lovely, but I think I maybe did 6. (this isn't an obstacle, I just felt I should confess.)

8.) Alyssa's getting married next Spring and there are a number of things that still need attention: dress-shopping, caterer-deciding, music-choosing, flower-picking....and I'm sure much much more! 

9.) I'm planning to go to Nicaragua to visit Michael there in November, and I have no passport and no plan. Both need to be remedied. Soon!

10.) I'm still in a struggle with what to do with my life now that I'm not a full-time mom! I could think about graduate school (although my crappy GPA from the early 80's will probably preclude THAT from happening), or redecorating the house (I SOO want a real fireplace here - not to mention a renovated kitchen, living room and bathroom - but I have no money!), or I could just get a job (yes, I have an inactive nursing license, and I do still have the degree - but where would I find the time to WORK?)

So those are my obstacles...or challenges... or distractions... or the things I should be doing INSTEAD of NaBloPoMo.

Oh well... I'm diving in!

Spoonbending & Firewalking

Last night, Katie went with me to a fun free workshop in South Austin.  We were going to learn how to  SPOONBEND!  Of course, I was a little skeptical, but my happiness about doing something with Katie kept that all in check.

The room was packed with people, some I knew and some I didn't. HeatherAsh began to talk about the stories we tell ourselves in our mind - some that limit us and aren't even true. She's a wonderful speaker and I always enjoy her presentations. She spoke of the power of imagination, the power of our own energy, and even a little about quantum physics.  We talked about how we mistakenly think of matter as SOLID, when in fact, it's primarily space between the solid particles. I wrote a little about that recently with the Higgs Boson discovery in July, in Mysteries of the Universe.  So after the discussion, they presented us with a whole bunch of spoons and forks of varying thicknesses. The goal was to override your brain's chatter about how this could not be done, and simply feel for the space within the metal. HeatherAsh led us through a few visualizations, we called up as much energy as we could muster, all the while working on our flatware.

And voila! 

The results of Katie and my Spoonbending Workshop!

"Then you'll see. It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself."

The Matrix

Impressive, huh?

I never finished my blog post a couple months ago about another mind over matter experience I had through Toci, the Toltec Center of Creative Intent.  I went to a FireWalk! I had no clear idea about whether or not I would participate, but I found the whole thing fascinating. I remembered watching Oprah do the firewalk with Tony Robbins on television and was intrigued.

 

HeatherAsh has been leading Spoonbending workshops and Firewalking for decades now. When I went to read more about the experience, I came across a reporter documenting firewalks for National Geographic. And who do you think was there in California leading his experience? Yep, you guessed it - HeatherAsh.

My friends and I went to the event and, again, listened to HeatherAsh talk about mentally overcoming obstacles. A few people had done this before, and I found that a little reassuring. So when the coals were ready, we went out to the fire walk.  The excitement was building, drums were drumming, people were shouting - just like in the video. Then the time came. A few of my friends marched across confidently. I started taking some deep breaths. If they could do it, so could I!!!

I inched toward the coals....
My friends cheered me from the other side....
And I walked across glowing hot coals!

Wow! THAT was exhilarating!!!!

To be completely honest, I did get a little blister on one of my feet, but nothing a little aloe vera couldn't take care of! 

So these two events have proven a couple of things to me. 

1) The Impossible might not be. 

2) The next time I find an obstacle, I have a couple pretty strong talismans in my pocket: 

I have walked on Fire! 

And I can bend spoons with the power of my Mind!

I Don't Understand "Christian" Hate

The Chick-Fil-A Controversy has brought an issue to the forefront for me...again. 

For those who are not aware:

I am Christian.
I am heterosexual.
I have hetero and gay friends - in my friendships, what matters to me is what we have in common.
I am unhappy when Christians create controversial issues from a position of hate.
And then when they try to rationalize their hate-filled positions with the Bible or words from Jesus, of all people, I can no longer sit quietly.

Initially, when I heard about the Chick-Fil-A comment, I just thought it was a dumb business decision. Who would want to alienate ANY paying customer? That just didn't seem smart. But I never considered telling Mr. Cathy that he couldn't say that. At first glance, it looked like his freedom of speech allowed him to stick his foot in his mouth if he was so inclined.

I even disagreed with my daughters who saw this as hate speech against gays. I agreed that he was probably giving some not-so-secret handshake with the "Moral" Majority, but I defended his right to have whatever position he chose. Even if I disagreed.  I had boycotted Cracker Barrel and Exxon for their positions/actions in the past. I would simply add Chick-Fil-A to my list.

Then came Wednesday's "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day." I was shocked. Lines of cars snaked around the parking lot of the local Chick-Fil-A. Politicians made appearances to show support.  They weren't stepping up to say the CEO had a right to his opinion - they were showing support that he was anti-gay.

Reporters stuck microphones in the faces of people who defended their position as one of "family values," "taking a moral stand," and "Christian."

My heart sank. I had given Mr. Cathy the benefit of the doubt, and I was wrong.  His statements were rallying the troops in a show of hate. They were trying to demonstrate that they could bully this small segment of our population - American citizens who happened to be Gay.

Why is that a hard concept to understand? There's nothing Christian about Bullying anyone.

Wayne Self wrote wrote a blogpost to his friends and here's one part, I'd like to share.

How would you feel if KFC came out tomorrow and said they were spending money against equality for Asian Americans, or African Americans, or religious people? Really. Think about it. What would you do? How would you feel? How would you feel if, after their announcement, there was a big increase in KFC sales and I was all over Facebook supporting KFC.

As an American, I'm still a little surprised when I read articles about an entire segment of our citizenry not being given the same rights I have. This map to the side here is from Upworthy.com, and I'm alarmed that someone can think you're gay and fire you - in 2012!  It harkens back to the days of civil rights movements and I can't believe these discussions are still necessary.

And when I turn on the T.V. and hear Christians leading the oppression of gay Americans, I know that's not the Christianity I believe in.
Amanda Marcott's article in Salon.com,  Christianity's Anti-Gay Stand Backfires
warns about the impact this may be having on our younger generations - and it certainly has affected my children.

In my mind, this has just been pushed too far.  Perhaps Christians need reminders about other biblical quotes like...

"If anyone says, I love God, but hates the brothers or sisters, he is a liar...Whoever loves God must also love the brothers and sisters."

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."

'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.

The other day I saw the local Episcopal Church had a sign out front that said,

                "Christians Who Hate, Aren't" 

To be honest, I had looked the other way at the onset of this Chick-Fil-A mess, and hoped that it was just the ranting of a homophobic bigot.  I hoped that Love would prevail and words from Jesus himself would take precedence over fear and hatred. And, perhaps it will - but not if I sit quietly. I cannot just hope for the best in people to come through. Not when millions of dollars are being used to fuel hate movements. 

We teach our children not to be bullies and not to stand by and let anyone BE bullied. I think I've stood on the sidelines long enough.

I'm happy to say my daughters learned that message loud and clear.

___________________________________________________

And this from my friend, Christine's Facebook Page:

What? July is OVER?

July seemed to pass by in a blur for me.  It looked very much like June with the exception of getting my Mom ready to move into a one-bedroom DOWNSTAIRS apartment.  Her dog, Pepper, tends to pull on the leash and she simply isn't that steady on her feet.  But after culling and packing, the movers came and loaded all her stuff. We still have to unpack and figure out what goes and what stays. It's difficult to get rid of things that were from her house in Dallas, but have no place in her life here.  And living amid boxes and packing paper muddles her thinking quite a bit - so we're all spending a lot of time together.

I'm giving lots of thought these days to coping with aging parents, and focusing on compassion. My mom turned 82 this month - on the 21st.  We celebrated with lots of food and family. We even took a little trip to Dallas for her to see her sister, Marilyn. My Uncle Jack, her brother, died a year ago last August. They
were all three very close at one time.

Alyssa's still wedding planning and working a few days a week at Milk & Honey.

Katie's working at Cinemark and daydreaming about her move to Los Angeles in September.

Michael's Nicaraguan adventures continue. He's planning to come back for the wedding next April and Ron and I are going to go see him in November. (That reminds me to get working on my passports!)

Ron gets to the boat 2-3 weekends each month. I even went and had a great time! I'm no sailor, but I can help Popeye out from time to time. Of course, when we went the wind died down as a storm approached. So these are photos of the windless afternoon and the evening with the storm in the background.  On our drive home, the storm clouds just kind of stuck on I35, so we traveled in rain all the way home.

And, me, I'm still working on my health issues. Trying to manage my food, and working out at the gym 5 days/week.

Life certainly looks different around here!

NaBloPoMo Final Thoughts…

So I've completed the month of blogging daily.  I have to say, many of my friends snickered at the thought of me doing this.  Something about saying, “I wrote about that in my blog,” is an immediate turn-off for many.  I know, I know.  They probably know that I’ll write about something they disagree with. And their typical reaction would be to interrupt me or point out my flaws…and blogs don’t let a person do that. They make you wait your turn until I hand the microphone to you.  That’s what comment sections are for.  Most of my disagreeing types don’t bother to comment, heck, they probably didn’t even bother to read it!  But I’m not blogging for them.

I thought, at first, I was blogging because there were PRIZES! But I won one...a drawing on Sunday. And it was exciting to know you won out of thousands of blogs.  But remember, it was simply a random drawing. And you know what it was? A book called, Let's Panic About Babies.  Um, no, I guess I don't blog for the prizes either.

I blogged for myself. I blogged to try to get a little focus on what's going on in my life. And I blogged to get back in the habit of daily writing. I've done Julia Cameron's Daily Pages, but I don't have unlimited time to dedicate to writing. NaBloPoMo seemed a little better.

I never used the NaBloPoMo Writing Prompts that were offered each day, until today.  The prompt is

What did you learn from doing NaBloPoMo?

I learned a lot about myself and about blogging. Even though I obviously love long rambling posts, I also love lists.  So here’s mine.

• I learned that blogging can really connect people. You can get a glimpse into people’s lives in a way that Facebook or email lists don’t often provide.

• I learned that people can really hear what matters to you. Sometimes it's something really important, and sometimes it's a mundane daily life thing; but blogging gives you an opportunity to share from a deeper level.

• I learned that Blogging allows you to really explore a topic or an idea. You don’t have to explain something in just enough characters to fit the box

• The Blogging Everyday aspect turned out to be more important than I though. When you're going to only do a blog here and there, you really want it to say something profound. But when you commit to daily, you don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. You just crank out something. At best, it WILL be great, at worst, it will be okay or so-so.  But you don't immobilize yourself, frozen in fear that you might suck at this. You just keep writing and see what's there.

• I was reminded that typos can really make you look stupid. Even when you’re not. But when you’re trying to make a deadline and dogs are barking or someone is talking to you and you’re trying to finish a though, typos happen. Regrettably.  So I learned that my habit of moving pieces around in a blog post requires at least two passes of self-proofing.  And hopefully, I'll make time for it!

• I learned that I like telling stories that are from the Present but reach back into the past.

• I learned that participating in NaBloPoMo more than tripled my page views (which does kind of embarrass me about the typos, but what's a girl to do?).

• I realized that in order to blog, you have to be okay with looking dumb or looking like you took the wrong position. You’re putting your ideas on paper…in writing. No fence-sitting. Unless that’s what you blog about – the ambivalence you feel about issues.  Maybe that’s why it’s easier to do at 50, you start to care less about those who differ with you, and more about those who can relate.

• Another reminder: writing takes up a lot of time – if you’re trying to write articles or well-thought out ideas. But getting in the habit of writing daily has been great.  (Admittedly, Alyssa and Josh wanted me to watch a show with them and their only request was that I NOT bring the laptop into the room and I actually WATCH the show! Ok…)

• I had never heard of Blogher.com before and I really like some aspects of their website. I don’t know if there are others blog networking sites out there like it, but I like reading in the different categories.

•  Back everything up! I learned by watching my friend Carol's blog arbitrarily disappear, for some Google reason I don't know. She got it back, but it was a reminder that we are not really in control of our words at our blogs. 

•  I didn't know this, but I'm really addicted to Comments. If someone writes a comment to my blog, first I’m elated! Then, I race over to see what they said. Comments offer some kind of validation, some way of saying, “I hear you.” I like that a lot.

• Because of my personal addiction to Comments, I try hard to comment on my friends’ blogs now. I am probably just projecting and they are much less codependent than I am, but just in case we’re similar, I comment.

• Lastly, I learned that I have a lot more to learn about blogs. And here are my questions. If you know the answer, please tell me!

o   I often announce my post on Facebook, just to let people know I wrote something. Then my friends read it and comment on my FB Wall.  And that scrolls away. Is there a way to transfer comments from Facebook to the blog?

o   Does blogger group posts by category or do you only have the label/tag bubble to use to find things. Besides the search box.

o   Some people have really cute fonts at their site, how do they get those and incorporate them.

o   Is there a way to expand the center section of my blog without changing the template?

o   Whenever I update my post, usually because I found another typo, does it notify my subscribers? (All 5 of them!)

o   Is there a way to see who looks at your blog?

o   Is there a way to see who is having email notifications sent to them if I post something on the blog?

o   If you post something at the Blogher website, how do you encourage people to go back to your blog instead of just reading it there?

So, I’m not going to do the next NaBloPoMo Challenge for December. I have a book that I really need to finish. I could still use some more survey comments from young adults or teens who were homeschooled during their teen years. Here’s a link to the website with the survey.  

Homeschool Voices: Listening to Homeschooled Teens   

My goal is to have this book completed by Spring. So that’s what I want to focus my writing on.  Still, I have thoughts that cloud my brain, so I’m sure I’ll post blogs to clear them out of the way, so to speak.



But thank you to Blogher.com for hosting NaBloPoMo! It was the jumpstart I needed. I will definitely continue to write daily. Whether it will end up on my blog remains to be seen. And thank you to everyone who came over to listen to me ramble on about my life. If you decide to blog, be sure to let me know! I'll come over and comment!

Our Piano

Katie always wanted to play the piano. She and Alyssa both have taken lessons. Initially, we had only an electric keyboard. That's not good enough when you're really starting to play songs....at least if you're trying to learn how pedals work.  So when we moved to Wichita Falls, and we had the space, and we thought we were done with moving around, we decided to start looking for a piano.

Wow! There's quite a price range for pianos! I had no idea. I had great memories of my cousin's piano. She was playing Christmas carols and everyone was gathered around, singing along. And then another friend with a huge room, had a baby grand piano. It was gorgeous. More like a furniture piece, than something to play. Although you could allow your thoughts to drift over to Dean Martin and his cocktail party guests gathering around for a little song. Not that that was happening in my house - or anyone else I know - but it gave me a warm Bing Crosby feeling.

So the quest for Our Piano continued.

Alyssa's interest in piano waned, but Katie's continued. She really enjoyed the teaching style of Mrs. Mahurin, who lived in Charlie, just a few miles from our house.  Mrs. Mahurin had been in that community for a long time and she knew a lot of people. She understood bargain shopping - even for pianos; and she knew just the one at a nearby church.  They had upgraded to a much nicer more modern piano/organ and this one was relegated to a dusty basement. The church told her they'd part with it for $100.

She called. We confirmed. That was that. Added bonus: we were just 3-4 weeks away from Christmas!

The church agreed to hang onto it for us. The plan was to pick it up on Christmas Eve. I don't really remember how this all played out. I must have taken the kids off somewhere and Ron orchestrated the ...not sure what to call when one tries to sneak a piano into a house!  But he threw a few blankets over it, adding some packing as if to disguise the shape.

When we returned, the girls were whisked past the wrapped "disguised" piano.  All was well.

One of our Christmas Morning traditions is that the kids can't go into the room with the Christmas tree until I'm ready for them. This means, turning on the tree lights, starting the Christmas music, making some coffee, adjusting the video or the camera - whichever we're using to record their reactions. I know, writing all that makes me sound a little...controlling? obsessed? nuts? Whatever. Don't judge.

So while they're waiting to emerge, Pete the Cat walks along the piano keys. I shoo him off there, but not before Alyssa shouts from the other room, "I knew it was a piano!!"

This piano. What it lacked in formality and even good tuning, it made up for in charm. One key really struggled to hold its note. The wood on it didn't match. Swaths of paint graced the front and the sides, probably from a tight fitting doorway during one of this piano's many moves. We were always going to sand those off and it could have looked wonderful, but we just didn't take the time to do that.

Plus, as a friend of mine in California told me, "Flat surfaces do not stay vacant for long in your house!" The piano quickly became the base for family pictures and knick knacks, a lovely desk lamp that cast a yellow glow into the room, a candle or two, and the obligatory metronome. Who am I kidding? Looking at it now, there are also matted photos from Ari that still need to be framed, some ear muffs, headphones, a wall hanging that fell and hadn't been rehung, some mail that never made it to the flat surface where it belonged.  Yeah, that piano could hold a lot of stuff.  Even the small piano bench would bulge over the years with Alfred's Basic Piano, or All-in-One music books. Plus, all the loose music that Katie would stuff in there from vocal lessons, musicals, or from her piano teacher.

But this is yet another blog post about time marching on.

Katie's moved to NYC, and the piano sits and gathers dust.  All the stuff still sits on it, but now it gathers dust too. Years before, Our Piano had been moved to a little front room.  It was crowded, but cozy.  Katie could sing really well, but she was often quite loud. A great thing for the stage, a little much for the living room. Unfortunately, she was often drawn to the piano when everyone was sitting around trying to watch television. It's hard to focus on CSI when Katie is belting out songs from Phantom of the Opera!  In retrospect, moving it to the other room, meant that she didn't play it as much.  I guess it was a line of sight kind of thing. And now, as I sit in this very quiet house, I miss the cacophony of kids - video games, television, laughter (and yelling)... and that piano.

But keeping the piano won't bring all that back. And, just as I've had to do with lots of the kids' "things" that I was hanging on to... I needed to find a way to let the piano go too. I called it cozy in that tiny front room, but that's really a stretch. It's overstuffed. (Have you seen The Hoarders show? The kids kept making me watch it over the summer. They reassured me that I was not there yet, but they could see if coming if I didn't get a hold of myself!)

Anyway...back to Our Piano. We considered selling it. But looking at that old piano from an objective buyer's standpoint, it wouldn't make us much money. They wouldn't see all the stories that are associated with it.  I sent an email out to my friends to see if anyone would want Our Piano. I was so happy to hear that my friend Cydney did! SHE would understand the stories that come with the piano. She would appreciate the history. She described the shelves that she'd like to build around our little piano to showcase it (and all of her other great art work). Perfect. She'd have to convince her husband that they really need a piano, especially since no one plays piano there, but I was confident she could do that.

After a little coordinating, we scheduled the movers to come on the Monday after Thanksgiving.

So as I wait for the movers to come pick up the piano, I have my moment in my crowded little front room with Our Piano.  I think about listening to Katie's voice through the years.  It got stronger as her range grew; I knew that by listening to her work on music at that piano.  I think about when Katie would play it if I was sick. Her voice and the music would waft up the stairs.  And I could just lay there and listen to her and her piano.  It was beautiful. That was my favorite.

I think of  my friend/her piano teacher, Marilyn Mahurin. She was such a wonderful life-line for me when we were surrounded by a community of people that really didn't like us much. Here she was, the minister's wife, sharing her books and ideas, commiserating when people were mean or judgmental.  We were connected with her for five years through piano. We watched her kids grow; we followed her when she moved into town. That piano she found for us reminded me that good people exist everywhere -  even when the loudest want to push them out of the picture.  You just have to get calm, look around, and find the Marilyn Mahurins. They're out there.


I'm happy Our Piano is going to go live in someone-I-know's house.  And I'm happy that we have such wonderful memories.  So the movers arrived and tilted it onto the dolly. I walked with them as they rolled it up the ramp and into the truck. They looked at me kind of funny when I wanted to take one last picture of Our Piano moving away.  Kind of like how I took pictures of Katie and Michael at the airport when they left.

They say it's our resistance to Change that makes it hard. So even though some little tears are squeaking out as I'm telling you this weird story about Our Piano, I'm trying not to resist all the Changes that are happening around me.  Really. I'm trying.