What Should They Learn?

I read a blog about "What should children learn?" They were trying to think outside the box. They wondered if the focus on traditional subjects is really all that important. Seeing the responses was interesting. I had an inkling that my list would not resemble too many others, but with 3 teenagers, and 2 grown step-kids with children of their own, here's what I think are the most important things children should learn:

• Kindness and compassion. Learn how to put yourself into other people's shoes.  When everyone else jumps on a bandwagon against something someone did, hold back a little bit.

• Live in the moment. Realize that there are about 16 waking hours in a day. And when they're gone, they're gone. There's nothing wrong with having a little "down time" but make sure you have some "up time too."

• Listen to people when they talk to you.  Give them your full attention.  Think about what they're saying but also why they might be saying it to you.

• Learn healthy eating choices and find exercise that you like and can do nearly every day. You're going to be in this body for a while - longer if you take care of it

• Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Do something about or with both. Take time to get to know yourself.

• Learn about the nature of advertising and marketing. 

• Learn how to pursue your interests. Learn how to find information on the internet.

• Be brave. Try new things. You never know what you might actually like.

These are what come to mind when I think about what children should be taught.  In school curriculum, I think they call these "threads." They are supposed to permeate different subjects year after year. I like the idea of these topics being the important threads.  I believe the reading, writing, and math will present itself.  And if you need these more traditional "subjects" for a job you'd like to pursue, that's why we have community college.

Sleep Issues & Real Life

 For years, I've let my children sleep however late, and go to bed at whatever hour. It worked well for our homeschooling lifestyle. We got up early when we needed to be somewhere. We went to bed when we were done with our day. But I would frequently be accosted by people saying,  "How will they be able to hold down a job - follow a schedule - adhere to expectations -- if I never impose any on them as children?" Well, it's a non-issue. It's like practicing the act of waiting in line. Or working on eating. Honestly, when they were younger, I'd think, "well, they just won't choose a job that conflicts with their natural rhythm." They seemed to be night owls and there are plenty of jobs that "start late."

But that's not what happened.

What actually happened is that they found a job they wanted, and they made their own rhythm cooperate. They are not late to work. I sometimes don't even get up with them! They have alarm clocks. They shower. They manage just fine thank-you-very- much (I don't mean that snappy tone for you all - just my long ago naysayers!) Katie proved this to me when she went to stay with her grandma in Dallas so she could attend a month-long intensive drama program. She got herself up at 5 a.m., checked her email, fixed her breakfast, showered, dressed, and caught the city bus to go downtown. She was 15. She's nearly 19 now, and if she needs to be at work or go to an audition or take a class, she gets herself there on time. She is aware that she needs to go to bed earlier than usual, and just goes.


Michael and Katie's first jobs were at Barnes and Noble. They had a lot of 7 a.m. shifts.  They were never late because they wanted to sleep in.  At 13, Alyssa started going to cheerleading competition on weekends. We frequently stayed in hotels and had to be at the competition by 7 a.m. That meant she usually needed to start getting ready around 5:45. She jumped right up and started getting ready. Now she's in school and has to be up by 7:30 every weekday.  She has no problem with it. Sure, she sleeps until noon on the weekends when she can, but she stays up late then too. And it's not because she had to practice to do this.

So, that's my real life experience with kids and sleep schedules. No one needed to rehearse getting up early. They did/do it when they need to.

Just an interesting little fact... at least to me.

IMPROV = LIFE

So today didn't start out great. Actually, it's been several days of not-good. But sometimes, when you get to the end of your rope, and you're just hanging there, you can look around. And if you CAN, you can see. Or you can hear. Or something you already knew can come back to the surface...

My friend Teresa just called to tell me about this great Improv Class that her kids are taking downtown. She said the teacher just had so much great positive energy she wanted to tell me some of the stuff she heard. Teresa said, "She's talking about IMPROV, but I think it's way more than that."

Instead, look what the Improv Teacher says...

....Say Yes to everything and then just add on to it.

....It's all about failure. It's gonna happen. It's what you do with it that makes it good. So laugh it off and turn it into something good.

...Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving forward.
No stopping and dwelling.
You throw stuff out and keep moving on.

....There are no Buts in Improv


Indeed. Life really is made up of Improv. One Improv act after another. The audience always thinks there are no rules. But there are. Because GOOD Improv follows a few basic steps. Just a few. I can handle a FEW rules.

I think I'm about to improve my Improv act. ;)

1 Semester Down....

It's interesting to talk to Alyssa about her thoughts on homeschooling vs. high school. As usual, she doesn't see things as black or white. The other day, I asked her what she thought about comparing the two. And I reminded her how people were always concerned that homeschoolers weren't getting enough socialization. So, after a semester at school, what did she think now?

First, she didn't think they are using the right word. Socialization. And she's not sure what the "right word" actually is. "But this is the deal..." in her opinion:

Both have learning opportunities that you can either take advantage of or daydream through.

But homeschoolers are out in the real world. They are interacting with all kinds of people, in all walks of life. School kids are not. Homeschoolers are living life, while school kids are reading about it in a classroom. But what school kids get to do that homeschoolers don't, is they get to have TONS of interactions with other kids. They fight, they reconcile, they lie, they play around, they laugh, they watch....but it's all about interacting. And that happens all day long - not just between classes like it shows on T.V. Each class period (or at least the ones she took this semester) allots a certain amount of the class period to the lesson and the rest is spent however the kids choose. Some choose to study the material. Some do the homework before they go home. While some pass notes, meet each other in the bathrooms, or goof around in the classroom.

In school, there are no paintings to discuss, or Barton Springs to swim in, or skating rinks to skate. No hangout afternoons wandering down to Sonic.

So which is best? It depends on what you want. If you are the type who  really enjoys interacting with people, school is the place to be. If you are not that interested in people but you want to see and do things in the world, then being trapped in a school all day for 5 days a week, is not a good plan for you.

Alyssa felt like her situation was ideal. She had done a lot out in the world. So she had that under her belt. But she had felt that interacting with a handful of kids every other day just wasn't enough for her. School gives her plenty of people to talk with - and her past as a homeschooler actually gives her a lot to talk about!

"SPONTANEOUS" Pillow Fight at the Bat Bridge!

Every night in the summer, tourists and flying mammal aficionados gather at the Congress Avenue bridge to watch the nightly emergence of the bats. Everyone sits on the banks of Town Lake between the Austin American Statesman building and the bridge.  This time, we joined Flash Mob Austin on an undercover mission. The plan was that secret agents would intermingle with the others there and on cue, erupt into a giant pillow fight. Then as quickly as it started, it ended. Everyone sat back down as if nothing happened. Non-agents sat back amused and completely bewildered!

This video is a good explanation of it all from last year.


This video has less explanation but shows how it grew. This is the one where the kids participated:

Day 8 - Sunday...just couldn't stop at 7!

Michael

-Slept until 10.

-Fixed breakfast.

-Read World of Warcraft book

-Went to work from 12-7

- Met us at Blue Marble Java for live performance

- Did homework

- watched a little T.V.

Katie

- up by 10

- hung out with friends and left for Austin by noon.

- Stopped at a great snack place with a huge Slushee selection. Learned the hard way that all the great flavors you like COMBINED into one, only tastes good while the frozen layers stay separate.

- Went to friends' house to drop them off and discussed the stage production with their parents

- Watched a little of the Abbreviated Shakespeare on DVD

- Came home, ate a little, read Fan Fiction

- Went to Blue Marble Java for Betty Soo concert

- came home and looked online for more components of her anime costume

Alyssa

- slept until 11

- did laundry

- watched American Top Model, just a quick email check. Seems like she self-pacing a little to avoid drama.

- watched football with Ron

- had a steamer and a chocolate chip cookie at Blue Marble. Really liked the performer and talked me into getting the CD

- looked through the bookcases and decided she'd start reading Stuart Little this week.

- watched TV and went to bed

Well, I think that's it. It really is kind of weird to write it all down. And doing several days in a row reminds me the piles of pictures I have that need to be put into a scrapbook - it's harder when you wait. But our little online unschooling group recorded our "days in the life of..." be they mundane or exciting. Just real life.

Goodnight & thanks for reading!

Day 7 - Saturday

Saturday

Michael

- no work!

- Went to the ACC bookstore and returned books from last semester and this semester.

- went to the bank and deposited his paycheck and the book sale $$

- Went to Lake Travis and checked on the sailboat with Alyssa & Ron. Scrubbed the deck/cabin

- Went to the Austin Boat Show. (Found a boat he wants to live on - JUST $130,000 for the least expensive one!)

- Picked up pizza on the way home

- Did laundry and ACC homework

Katie

- packed car for road trip

- showered and got ready for TexArts class

- Sue drove Katie to TexArts at UT

- Picked up Katie and went to friends' house to pick up 3 other teens for a Dallas Road Trip

- Sang in car, stopped for snacks, constant talking in anticipation of the big show - comparing shows/actors/ singing

- Went to Grandma's house in Dallas, dropped off stuff, ate pizza & salad, got ready for show

- Went to the Majestic downtown to see the stage version of Sweeney Todd. The 4 teens managed on their own (I didn't have an extra $60 for a ticket - and they really liked being "on their own")

- Went out to Chili's for dessert. Discussed show, compared it to the movie - very different. Explained some of this to the waiter, who was quite interested in what they were doing.

- Came back to Grandma's. Sang along to the soundtrack. Stayed up chatting with each other until 3 a.m.

Alyssa

- slept until 10:30.

- started laundry.

- quick email check to see leftovers from last night's drama. Everyone apologized.

- went to boat show - she wanted the $400,000 boat!

- ate pizza with Mike and Ron

- watched T.V.,. checked email

Day 6 - Friday

Friday-

A rainy day is a GREAT day to lay around, IMO. And that's what I did for most of the day.

Cooked a big veggie soup.

Michael

-ACC classes from 9 - 1 p.m.

-Came home and talked about selling back some of the books he bought but won't need. Called several ACC bookstores to check on hours. Missed it...closes at 2 p.m.

-Did the dishes, happily and without prompting. (It really was getting bad) He said that he likes doing them because he thinks about stuff while he works on them. And THAT works for me!

- He & I set up a blog for him.He's never done that before. He likes to talk a lot and has a lot of opinions about politics and human nature. This will be a good place for him to unload. He has stories in his head that he wants to work on as well.

Katie

- up early to read Fan Fiction

- to work from 9 - 4:30

- picked her up from work and went straight to Ballet Austin

- traffic was bad, so she was late to first day of the Triple Threat Musical Theatre class

- Sang, danced, and acted from 5:30 - 8 p.m. Loved it. (1 class and 1 workshop)

- One of the teachers pulled me aside to say that she was really bright and enthusiastic. During that conversation, I mentioned that she was homeschooled. He quickly responded, "Oh, that's why she was so great to work with!" It seems the homeschooled kids in the class don't suffer from the same peer pressure inhibition that their schooled counterparts do. At least in this class.

- Came home and packed for her Dallas trip the next day.

Alyssa

- up late -around 11 (when I got home from Curves)

- cleaned up room a little

- wrote an essay about why her Cheerleading coach deserved a special award. She really did a good job with this. Yes, it needed some proofing, but her content was organized well and her spelling has drastically improved

- spent a lot of time on email and myspace. Had a blow-up with a couple of her cheerleader teammates. Lots of drama & tears. Finally resolved at 1:30 a.m.

Day 5 - Thursday

--Michael got up early for work - 7A-2P He came home and fixed his lunch. He and I talked about his classes, and looked online at some of the future classes at Texas State in Anthropology. There's an internship in Peru through ACC this summer that he'd like to go to. Not sure if that can fit into the schedule though!

Michael, Alyssa and I talked about boyfriends/girlfrie nds/dating in general. Lots of laughs.
Alyssa has lots of boys that like her, but she's not interested in them. Michael, OTOH, had his heart broken when he was about 16 and hasn't tried again. He now thinks dating is too much effort and wonders if he's too lazy to ever get a girlfriend. Plus, he REALLY wants to travel and doesn't want anyone to distract him from that. And, he's trying to save money, and doesn't want to have to spend $ on a girl. We talk about when he meets someone that he *really* likes, he might readjust his ideas... or not. We talk about the people we know who have done internet dating - he thinks that might be his approach later... (hopefully MUCH later!)
Michael and Alyssa got along really well today and he drove her to cheerleading practice. He then went over to ACC to try to talk to his professors about his grades.
Michael spent the evening watching Season One of the West Wing. He loves that show and got the boxed set for Christmas. We have lots of conversations after (and during!) the various episodes. He thinks that growing up watching West Wing helped him with some of his college classes, and now that he's completed some Political Science classes, some of these topics are making more sense to him.

--Katie spent the day reading fan fiction. She's feeling like her own work isn't as good as much of what she reads. She just started a new Manga book....something different... can't remember the name. She and I drove to Tapestry for Tap class and talked about what she expects out of the upcoming Anime convention. TexArts classes start Saturday and we talked about how that will fit schedule-wise with our trip to Dallas. We're going to see the live show of Sweeney Todd at the Majestic Theatre in Dallas. We're picking up a few of her friends. They all saved up their money to pay for the $60 tickets!

-- Alyssa & I totally forgot her orthodontist appt at 8:30. So they rescheduled it to 11 and we made it. We talked a lot about the structure of her jaw and where her teeth are lining up - which led to the broken bracket and the reason for the appt. We always look closely at their charts and models. She made small talk with another patient and her parent - she is so comfortable talking to people - really confident. She and I went to WalMart to get some more groceries. She picked out a lot of it.
We came home and started food in the crockpot - important since we're all driving all over the place in the evening tonight. She watched some Malcolm in the Middle reruns, did a little of her decimal book and went to cheerleading practice. After that, she IM'd and emailed with friends until...well, she's still online.

I read my weight watchers materials and caught up with a few people on the cell phone while I waited for Katie. Ron brought home tamales from work....and a chocolate cake. My diet is doomed.

Day 4 - Wednesday

--Michael was called in to do a few extra hours of work. He cooked lunch for himself (he's a big Philly Cheesteak fan - now that there are easy pkgs to fix).
He had classes at Riverside this afternoon - no mapping problems this time.

--Katie worked at B & N from 11 - 7 today. She and I went to the bank before work and deposited 3 of her checks. She has her main acct, and a 10% untouchable account. Lots of talk about interest on bank accounts, the point of saving early (even if it's just a 10% habit), and what some big ticket items she might like to buy. Ron picked up Katie from work and then brought her home. She read a little fan fiction and went to bed.

--Alyssa was up at 11, fixed herself some breakfast. Today, she pulled out some math she was working on a while back...Key 2 Decimals. She was having a lot of trouble with making change, and now at 13, wants to figure this out.

Alyssa & I went to Tapestry for Hip Hop class....which will probably be the last time for this. She's just not having that much fun with the class and it's an incredibly long drive during rush hour traffic.

Ron picked up Pizza, I dropped Alyssa off after class with him (while he waited for us in the Little Caesar's parking lot), then I went on to Curves.

Ron, Michael, & I watched Commanche Moon while the girls were upstairs on the computers.

Day 3 - Tuesday

This was pretty much a "lay-around day".... still in recovery from the shock of the text messaging financial fiasco.

--Michael worked at B & N from 9 - 3 shelving books. He said he got to talk to some interesting people in the store about some of their book choices. Working at a bookstore has been an education in itself. Customers make comments about books that my kids would have never even noticed. Now they have a superficial knowledge of a wide variety of topics and authors.

--Katie & I worked more on her anime costume. I didn't realize she had never cut material with a pattern, so we talked about what the different symbols meant, and she cut away!
She helped with cleaning up the house a little.

--Alyssa helped with lunch, cleaned her room, read a little of her J14 Magazine and went to cheerleading practice. There was a bunch of drama there as 2 of the teams merged for a big upcoming competition. We had a lot of discussion on the way home about a lot of the interactions, potential interactions, and potential reactions that could occur. Conversations like this really diffuse the heat of the moment.

Day 2 - Monday

But then today is completely opposite of yesterday... chaotic.

Up early with the dogs - they're really going to tear down that fence next door. The new neighbors let their dog out and they don't realize that my "country dogs" think he's in THEIR territory!
Add to the list: talk to the neighbors about reinforcing the fence.

Michael is up for work. He's acting exhausted - probably like me in anticipation of a grueling day. We decide to try to contact his history professor from last year to talk about his final grade. How exactly does a 92 and a 95 + extra credit translate into a B for the semester? The instructor was called away and unable to do the final for a 3rd test score - and neither his email or his voicemail is functioning. ugh. But he does have office hours, so maybe this week sometime Michael can stop by. I know it's getting late for a grade change, but if there's hope....
Add to list: Keep trying to reach Dr. O'Brien.

Michael's day was ghastly:
9-12 - Work in receiving for B & N.
12 - swing by the house for food and books
1-5 - Go to new campus for Spanish and Cultural Geography - he liked the classes but unfortunately, despite the run-through, he got all the way to Slaughter Lane, missing Riverside. He called, I "control-towered him in" to the campus, and he made it in time for class.
5-6 - Fight rush hour traffic and come by the house for more food
6 - 12 - Back to work at B & N until close...around midnight.

I encouraged him to keep working, but I don't think he realized how awful this was going to look.
And, he has to open the store in the morning. Hmmm....I smell burnout. But at least he has no school on Tues or Thurs.

Katie also works today: 10 - 4
She has been up since 7 this morning, working on the computer on anime and You Tube videos.
The Hairspray CD blasted away while she got ready for work. All went well, but she just hung out on the computer for the rest of the evening

Alyssa snoozed until 11. We debated over whether or not to take the Spanish class at the Leander/Cedar Park Fine Arts Academy at 2 p.m. She was worried about it, but she has no problem making friends, and this is only the 2nd class day, so she's not too far behind. Unfortunately, there were only 3 other kids in the class. 2 11 year olds and 1 15 year old boy. The instructor's primary language is Spanish, and her English is very minimal. Alyssa said that the instructor kept turning to the kids for English spelling, grammatical structure, and in the end, Alyssa thought that the instructor learned more English today than she learned Spanish. We'll keep trying until the end of the month...it's paid for. But...not impressed.

So, Alyssa and I had a wonderful afternoon together. We went to the Blue Marble Java in PF, which is owned by a homeschooling family. I met the owner and he told us about the live music they're having on Sunday nights. That will be cool. Alyssa and I laughed and chatted and had fun.

After we got home I talked to Pam about updating the NHEN website and working on our book together. I talked to Julie about her recent robbery, then I went to Weight Watcher. I lost 2.2 lbs.

But just when you think the day is going well....

When I came in from Weight Watchers, I was met at the door by a sobbing Alyssa. "Dad yelled at me" and you're going to be really mad too. She cried onto my shoulder for a bit and then finally confessed. "I have been texting with my friends and the bill came." She didn't have unlimited texting - although she didn't seem to care. She ran up a $300 bill!

Oh my. I stayed calm. She cried and cried. She said that Dad took her phone and she will have to empty her bank acct. to pay for the bill. She said that Dad was going to give her unlimited texting for her birthday next month, but not anymore. She got a little angry, saying that she was the only one on her team without texting... she said that she didn't think we were ever going to give her texting (not sure how that rationalizing works since she was texting away).... a couple of other deflections from the situation.

I explained to her that I was more sad than mad. She was going to cover the cost, and I knew how long it took her to save that much money. I was sad that she just blew off our requests not to text. I was sad that she didn't understand that at the end of the month, we'd all know what had been going on. I was sad that as soon as we work on one particular problem, another one pops up.

We talked some more. She took some Tylenol for a headache. We watched Medium together. She seems bummed...not what I'd call remorseful... but I'd rather understand how she's really feeling than have her fake something she doesn't feel.

Tomorrow is another day. And situations can click along and then change on a dime.
Sigh.

Day 1 - Sunday

Our little unschooling email list in Austin asked everyone to write what they did today. They want us to do it all week. Just to give a glimpse. Here's what I sent them for today:

I can do this...

We all slept late, since Alyssa & I went to Houston on Saturday for a cheerleading competition, and Katie worked until midnight last night. Michael, Ron, & I watched the CBS Morning Show and This Week with George Stephanopolus. We record the 2 shows and then we can stop and start it as our own conversations dictate. Katie was in and out of the show, occasionally eavesdropping on our discussions. Discussions about presidential candidates, Pakistan and Benazir Bhutto, the writers strike, the $2500 car, Sir Edmond Hillary.

Alyssa slept until 1 p.m. and then checked in with her friends online. She watched America's Top Model with me. She ran the vacuum downstairs and helped with dinner. She baked some biscuits and made milkshakes for everyone. She watched a lot of tv today, ending with a ridiculous show about Scott Baio...but even that led us to conversations about babies (and how everyone reacted when she was born) and husbands and how they should act, and what she'd like/dislike in a husband.

Katie and I worked on her costume for the Anime convention she's planning to attend in Feb. She helped a little with dinner and got ready for work. She went to work at Barnes & Noble until 10 p.m. She came home and worked on her FanFiction stories until she went to bed.

Michael played a little World of Warcraft and went with Ron to make a practice run to the Riverside campus for ACC classes tomorrow. He was at the Northridge campus in the Fall and didn't really know the route. He listened to music, not sure if he played any guitar up there in his room today, read about the Presidential campaign in Newsweek, and watched the Lonesome Dove prequel series (can't remember the name).

I did some housework, read the newspaper, brushed the dogs, had a little meltdown about the messy state of the kitchen, tried out a new recipe, emailed a few people, and started writing in a blog. Maybe I'll add this!

Well, such is the life in our household with 3 teens, 2 adults, 2 dogs & 2 cats.